Alcoholics are like Cars - I need a Tune-Up

When I got sober. I went to meeting daily, worked the 12-steps with women in a step-study. Then I was fixed. Running smooth. Or so I thought.
Now I realize alcoholics are like cars; We need to keep the engine tuned-up or else it breaks down. Sometime we crash because of poor maintenance. A tire might fall off or the brakes could fail.
Usually when this happens we are already heading downhill, so stopping is impossible.
Sometimes the wrecks are fatal.
There are almost always injuries.
Sometimes we hit other people when we crash.
Sometimes, they, or we, never recover from the accident.
We say, "It was an accident. I never meant for it to happen."
Still, we are at fault. We caused it.
We heard the knocks, saw the bald tires, smelled the smoke, but continued to drive anyway.
I'm knocking, smoking and shaking.
I'm pulling over.
Better yet, I'm taking her back into that shop called AA for a complete tune-up, new tires, brakes... the works.
My tools are a little rusty as well... I need some new ones in case I break down in the middle of nowhere.
In my dry-ness, I have been looking for a mechanic, a good strong man, who can make my engine purr.
All it did was sputter even worse.
Alcoholics are a unique model, and we need to be serviced by the manufacturer... a Higher Power.
My new sponsor has worked in the service department for some time, trained by the best, following the instructions of our Designer.
I can't wait to get back on the road... to recovery.

A Newcomer Again

No, I didn't drink, but I feel like a newcomer again. I went to a meeting tonight with Jane and the girls. Afterward, we went to eat. There were 18 people and a baby at the table. I didn't really know anyone, and I felt a bit awkward. Jane was a bit farther down the table.
I have to remember it took me a few weeks to get to know people when I first got sober - and that was going to up to three meetings a day.
More importantly, it took some time to get to know myself. I need to do that again.
Time to start the steps over. Tonight I was also thinking, maybe it's time to start sponsoring people too. 
We help ourselves by helping others.
If I try to wait until I am perfect, I will be waiting forever, because that's never going to happen.
My fog has lifted.
I surrender.
Time to start the cycle of recovery once again.